Thank God I’m Not a Teenager Anymore

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So this week was one of those tough, emotionally shitty weeks where there is a happy ending, but you have to be miserable for awhile first before you get it. My experiences this week made me do a compare/contrast analysis of my eighteen-year-old self to my nearly twenty-eight-year-old self, and how I would have handled a similar situation back then. Answer – not well.  It’s hard to believe that being eighteen was nearly a decade ago, but I’m grateful that this particular stage of my life is behind me.

Because, true story – I was kind of crazy at 18. And who isn’t?  I was selfish, I was emotionally impulsive, and I was entirely too stubborn for my own good.  I realized recently that though my main path in life has been “goody-goody,” I’ve still made tons of mistakes.  Making the leap from childhood to adulthood is never an easy transition, and it was a long, hard struggle for me.

But I’m grateful for my past and what it’s taught me, because I wouldn’t be here today without all those cringe-inducing moments (like the time I called up a guy and yelled at him months after an altercation had taken place between us.  YAY FOR NINETEEN! WHAT A GREAT AGE!)  I don’t feel like I’m an entirely wise woman yet, but I feel like I’m much more empathetic and considerate than I used to be.  I try very hard to see two sides of a situation and even harder not to act solely based on my emotions, like I used to.

My twenties have been completely revelatory, especially twenty-seven. With age comes increased responsibility, wrinkles, and white hair, but you know what? I’ll take it.  I’d much rather accrue wisdom as I get older rather than be that starry-eyed but somewhat insane teenager sitting in her dorm room and having a pinhole view of the world.

Enough about that.

Two friends of mine recently became engaged, and I am very happy for them.  They have been together for a long time and are very much in love.  Congratulations – may you have a happy and beautiful life together.

It’s after midnight and since I got maybe five hours of sleep last night, I should probably go to bed.  Good night everyone! Friday is oh so close.

An Open Letter to All Drivers

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If I am already driving 5 mph over the speed limit and you are behind me, tailgating me and throwing your arms around and otherwise acting like an exasperated bitch, I will go slower.

I won’t brake.  I’ll just ease off the accelerator, and if we happen to come to a stop sign, I will sloooowly advance, look back and forth four to five times, and then roll away like molasses.

Seriously. Try it next time.  I don’t care if you’re late.  There are people who speed up under the pressure of an aggressive driver, and I am not one of them.

I Feel Kitschy Today

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Last night, I had a dream about Liz, my old project manager.  She was the person I aimed to please the most during the first three years of my employment.  At times I succeeded; others, I failed miserably.  She left last year to work at another company.  Liz was tiny; she barely reached five feet.  But she had enough gumption, spirit, and confidence for five people.

I took my dream as a sign that I needed more gumption and spirit.  That thought cheered me today.

I bought paints yesterday at HEB.  I was shopping for necessities like the responsible damn adult that I am, and found myself wandering in the toy section.  The Crayola paints seemed very appealing, so I picked up a set, along with some paintbrushes and a sketchbook.  My aunt is a very talented painter, and after seeing so many talented artists lately, I’ve been inspired to try my hand.

Unfortunately, as I paint my insipid picture, I can’t help thinking of my grade school art teacher.  She was nothing short of psychotic, but that is besides the point.  She used to erase what I had drawn and tell me I had done it wrong.

A seventh grade math teacher compared my drawing skills to hers, which she had always derided.

My point is, I can write decently and can keep a passable rhythm, but art? Oh, no.

It is very relaxing, though.

This song provided a good soundtrack to my day:

Also, fuck this song for being so catchy:

This song is a bastardized retread of every song released since 2008 and I will probably hear it 7,895 times this summer and will likely detest it with every fiber of my being by June 23rd, but I DON’T CARE. I LIKE IT.

JUDGE ME.

I will agree that the first minute of the song is fucking horrendous, though.

Oh God, I just realized she samples “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” at one point, WHY DO I EVEN LIKE THIS SONG?*

Time to go make more bad art.

*the chorus, really.

An Unexpected Day Off, Plus a Couple of Projects

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I had an unexpected day off today, and so far it is superb. I’ve been out in the field Sunday and Monday.  I haven’t done this kind of work before so it is definitely putting me out of my comfort zone.  That can only be a good thing, right?  But each day I’m getting a little more used to the work.  But I can’t say I was upset when my field manager called off work because of the bad weather we’ve been getting.  And even better, the work doesn’t have to be made up later, so my schedule will still stay the same. YAY!

I woke up at 7 this morning and it was delicious.  When I was growing up, my mother was never the sort to sit down in the morning and watch TV, and I’ve found that those habits have rubbed off on me.  I worked on some reports for work, and then have been busy cleaning ever since.  This is my first break all day.

This weekend, I visited a beautiful home. It was so lovely – wooden floors, an open floor plan, and the most incredible backyard view of the Hill Country. She is an artist and her home reflected her work.  It was tidy but comfortably lived in – paint materials were compiled neatly in a corner, while art books lay across her coffee table.  I don’t have any shred of artistic talent whatsoever, but seeing her home gave me a strong desire to paint.

When I returned home to my apartment, I felt inspired by seeing such a pretty home. I found myself giving it a critical eye.  I really like my apartment, but what could I do to improve it?

Answer: the patio.  Oh God, the patio.

I don’t use my patio very much.  I really just use it for storing my trash before I drop it off at the apartment dumpster, or putting unwanted furniture on it. My parents have decided to leave the dog cage here for their visits, so that also stays parked out there. To be honest, the hornet’s nest on the light fixture really dissuades me from wanting to be outside.  But the hornet’s nest is now inactive, and it’s almost summer; even though I’m not a social creature who has very many people over, it’d still be nice to have a pretty, summery patio with flowers.  So that will be one of my summer projects.

I’ve been wanting a cat lately and now I actually want plants on my patio.  Is this what happens as you start approaching thirty?

Here is another project I am working on:

I think I mentioned on here before how I’m using excess yarn in my basket to create the fugliest blanket possible. And since I only know one crochet stitch, I think I am succeeding in that quite well.

Well, I feel like cleaning up my car.  That is going to be interesting.  I hope you all are having a great week!

Apparently People Are Conflicted About Whether I Am Young or Old

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Ok so last weekend, I went to Eeyore’s Birthday.  It’s a celebration my city throws every year.  It’s supposed to be a family-friendly event, but it ends up drawing in a lot of hippies.  Everyone I’ve talked to hyped it up as being really weird, but I was actually disappointed by its lack of weirdness when I attended.  It was just another day in the city for me.

I think this means I’ve gotten used to this city and its weirdness.

Anyway, I walked by a jewelry booth and started talking to the owner.  ”Do you go to school here?” she asked. I said no and then did not elaborate, because sometimes I get weird with strangers and don’t feel like talking about myself much.

She said, “Do you not go to school or are just too old?” I said, “I’m too old.”  ”Wow, you look so young,” she said. “I thought you were in school.”

YAY!

But then when I was buying wine at HEB yesterday, I DID NOT EVEN GET CARDED.

As in, THE CASHIER JUST SCANNED THE WINE AND DIDN’T ASK ME FOR MY ID.

I guess because I look older than 21.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

10 Unimportant and Relatively Uninteresting Things Going On In My Life Right Now

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1.  Do you like the song “Extraordinary Machine?”

Fiona Apple said that she wrote it as a pep talk to herself. Every couple of years, I find myself in that place where I get nestled into my comfort zone and am loathe to venture out of it.  My best experiences, though, have come from swallowing my fears and going outside my comfort zone. I realized that I have lost my sense of adventure.  I haven’t had a decent “outside the comfort zone” trip since Philly and my marathon.

This is not to say that I have any exciting trips planned (I wish).  I just want to embrace new challenges with acceptance.

2.  Speaking of Fiona Apple – WHEN IS HER ALBUM COMING OUT?  BECAUSE I NEED IT IN MY LIFE.  Apparently she released a single and I am just finding out about it now. WHAT.

3. I painted my fingernails sky blue and my toe nails forest green. Because I can.

4.  I am breaking out on my chin and it is so unattractive.  Not just one blemish, either.  It’s this gross pizza chin and WHY, GODS OF CLEAR SKIN, WHY?!

5. I really, really want this hair.

Except that summer is approaching in Texas, meaning I will be miserable with heavy bangs coating my face.

6.  Speaking of summer coming in Texas, I have been running again but I am not in the condition I was six months ago, i.e. I am horribly out of shape and a once easy 4.5 mile run has been reduced to agony.  I went running the other day and it felt SO HOT and I was saddened to realize that it was only 85 degrees.  I say “only” because the temperature will jump at least 20 degrees within the next two months.

7.  I have to work this weekend, which really, really sucks.  I am not sure if I can see the Avengers but I want to, but mainly because of this man:

8.  I have the show Charmed on mute in the background, and I am instantly being reminded of fashion from 2001.  Super frilly, pink Britney Spears-type sweaters, cheeky hats, bold lipstick.

God, I feel like this show has been on for the past two hours, WHEN IS IT GOING TO END?

9.  My shoulder still vaguely hurts at night and it’s still a little stiff, even over two months after hurting it.  The doctor confirmed last month that it is healing nicely and that the most I could do with it is physical therapy, if I wanted to. He didn’t sound concerned with it and is unsure if I even dislocated it; he said he has no way of confirming it since he didn’t see me after my injury (all I’m saying is I FELT IT POP BACK IN.)

I guess my dad is right; it will never be 100% normal again, or maybe it will after a long, long time.  That’s okay.

10.  Goals for this month – actually learn a song on my guitar, actually learn a couple of songs on drums, actually finish a book.

Thank you for reading these 10 Unimportant and Relatively Uninteresting Things going on in my life right now.