My brother Patrick is taking a business technical writing class this semester. He sent me some of his assignments, and they are too hilarious not to share. This letter is in response to a prompt to write a letter about an “unpleasant customer experience.”
Mr. Tommy Lee, Manager
666 Awesome Dr.
Los Angeles, CA
Dear Mr. Lee:
SUBJECT: REFUND OR REPAIR ON ROBOTIC SHE-BEAR GUARDIAN
The twin robotic she-bear guardians I ordered from the Second Kings website arrived within the given time-frame. One works fine, however the other one is lacking the necessary eye lasers.
After powering up the she-bears and feeding them the entire bag of Blood of the Innocent juice that came with them as a special Christmas bonus, I noticed that one of the she-bears could not fire lasers from its eyes. I consulted the manual and it said to unscrew the skull and spray WD-40 onto the sensors just above the eyes. I did this, but the eyes still did not shoot lasers.
Since your website advertised that both robotic she-bear guardians would have eye lasers, and only one of mine does, then my order has not been fulfilled. I would like to send the defective she-bear in for repairs.
I understand how busy this time of year is, so if repairs cannot be done within the next two weeks, then please refund my $15. I appreciate the professionalism of the Second Kings customer service department as well as the punctuality of the delivery.
His professor has a good sense of humor, because Patrick has received A’s on his assignment so far.