I came across a written note I had put in my piggy bank (back then, I used an old plastic ice cream container). On one side is a balance sheet, showing deposits and withdrawals for a period of several days, 12/28/95 to 1/2/96. I was eleven.
On the other side…horror.
Like many children, I liked to place warning signs on things I owned. I don’t know why. It’s not like I lived in a house full of children. I only have one brother and to my knowledge, he was never the sneaky sort to go rummaging through my things (at least, I don’t THINK he was). So I have no idea why I wrote all this dumbass stuff.
Below is evidence that supports why I had no friends at that age. I have purposely kept all my atrocious misspellings as to lend to the genuine ~feel~ of the document, and by feelings, I mean pure embarrassment on my part. My present-day comments are in bold.
Personal - for Jennifer and whoever-she-wants-to-see-this eyes only!
No Peeking! This is none of your business, exept my parents, my brother, and me, of course! (GOD, WHY WAS I SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE GOODY-GOODY? Oldest child syndrome, for real y’all).
CAUTION – You can be persecuted for this! I think Little Lame Jenny did not know the difference between “persecution” and “prosecution.”
Mess with Jennifer, mess with fire. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what all the girls in the gym locker room were thinking when they bullied you every day for three months.
I can have lawyers – I’m a writer, actress, athlete, animal activist, and vet + teacher. I can has lawyers? I don’t know why I felt the need to list all these fake identities. Clearly I was practicing on becoming a celebrity.
Caution – Don’t mess with future vetrenarian or teacher. Little Lame Jenny never knew she was going into engineering because it takes too long to become a vet, and the teaching profession is underpaid.
Caution!
I have a lawyer. Of course I didn’t.
I am an actress. I based this off the one school play I did at 10, when I went off-script and hammed it up. Oh God, I’m hating my childhood self the more I type this.
I am a writer. This was actually true.
I am an athlete. So was this.
I am an animal activist. Not this.
I am a vetrenarian. Nor this. I wasn’t a Doogie Howser wunderkind.
I am a teacher. No.
I am a scientist. No.
I’m bad. Oh Mother of God.
This was hilarious. I kept journals since 3rd grade and I can’t bear to go back and read the ones from middle school. I was so, so pathetic back then.
Actually I’m still about the same. Now I just whine about boys on a blog. On the internet. That other people read. I’ve gotten worse!
I’m glad some of us grow out of our patheticness, at least!
Middle school/high school-era journals are always tough reads. We think we know so much at that age, and when we go back and read – of course we didn’t! We were babies!
I’d like to think it’s not pathetic as long as there is some self-awareness involved with it. As long as you know how/when to filter yourself, there’s nothing wrong with public blogging
Hahahahahahah!!! That was funny!!! OMG! Admit that you almost feel sick when you read anything like that!!?! I think that if hadn’t had the most curious little sister (who looked through my room every day!) I would be a different person lol! because I never let anyone know about anything.. My gosh! I wrote long lists of things I wanted ex. I want a car, a swimming pool, a dog, a cat, my own tv blah blah haha! Normal wishes for a 7 year old, it would be more normal to want a Barbie than a car LOL!!! I think I have to see if I can find anything from 96, I was 10 years old then lol!
Glad you liked it! I thought it was funny too but at the same time I just cringe at how lame I was. I used to write lists too, of names I liked. I have no idea why. Yes, see what you can find!
too cute
I wish I had stuff from back then. My mom was too nosey tho so I didn’t like keeping journals and such.
I’m a hopelessly sentimental person, I have to make myself throw things away. I hear you on not keeping journals…the parentals found mine one time and that was not a fun day. LOL
Hahahaha.
I had ridiculous nicknames in my diary during this time. Like, the boy I liked initials were G.B. so, of course, I thought “Green Bay” would be an unbreakable codename for him.
My sister teased me mercilessly when she read it. It’s still embarrassing to this day.
=D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Caution! I’m an actress!
=D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
That’s awesome.
Ahahaha, I was so dumb back then.