In the past week, I have seen status updates involving the following:

-The user had waffles for breakfast, and really enjoyed them.  He wishes he didn’t forget to put pecans in them.  Coffee was delicious.

-The user wonders whether the usage of Allegra or vitamins has turned his urine florescent yellow.

-The user goes into a TL;DR manifesto about a woman he is infatuated with, telling her that he wants to kiss her clitoris (WHOA THERE, NELLY).