Category Archives: television

Three Things: Things to Make a Monday Cheery

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It’s always tough to return to work after a relaxing weekend off.  Here are three things that have made my Monday tolerable.

1.  Sunny, awesome weather

Texans relish spring weather because it will be the last comfortably warm days we’ll have until, like, November . It’s especially pretty around here, because all the spring flowers are blossoming, which means BLUEBONNETS!

Ok, so I totally just took a stock photo from the internet, but it looks like this.

I went for a walk in the park this weekend, and I passed by at least four or five families taking pictures of their adorable children among the bluebonnets.  It was already a cliche by the time I passed the last family.

The walk in the park was quite lovely, too. I saw snakes swimming in the water, cardinals, ducks, a goose, lizards, and anoles.

2.  Mad Men returns!

I didn’t watch Mad Men last night, so was eagerly anticipating it today.  It’s okay so far.  I think 2 hours may be a little long for a premiere, and some of the more interesting characters haven’t appeared yet (i.e. WHERE IS BETTY DRAPER?)  But the makeup and fashion is still a treat.  For instance, we must talk about Megan’s hair:

Want her hair, WANT WANT WANT. Hi Don.

Like, if I haven’t been trying so desperately hard to grow my hair for the past year, I would totally want this hairstyle.  Except while it makes her look sophisticated, it will probably make me look like a prepubescent girl.  I’m glad her hair is so awesome, because now I won’t miss having blonde hair whenever Betty Draper comes on screen (WHERE IS SHE?)

3.  Sweet Leaf Iced Tea

I’ve been living in my beloved city for four (!) years now, and one of the cliches I’ve picked up is loving the shit out of Sweet Leaf Iced Tea.  I first tried it at ACL back in 2008, and I remember I wasn’t too impressed with it.  I tried it again last year and thought, “Okay, this is not too bad.” And then like many things I’m initially lukewarm about, I started liking it.  And by liking it, I mean ADDICTION.

SERIOUSLY, I COULD DRINK LIKE 10 OF THESE A DAY IF I DIDN'T HAVE SUCH SELF-CONTROL

My fridge is well stocked with Sweet Teas.  The other flavors are decent but none holds my heart like the Mint and Honey.  If you have the chance, TRY IT.

DO IT.

Okay, I guess I’ll watch the end of this season premiere.  SERIOUSLY, BETTY, THIS SHOW COULD USE SOME OF YOUR AWESOME BITCHINESS RIGHT NOW.

Jenny Picks a Halloween Costume

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I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning and have to wake up at 5:20 tomorrow for a run, so clearly I need to make a post about my Halloween costume.

When I do dress up for Halloween, it’s usually a half-assed effort.  One year, I grabbed a black dress I wore to one of my college graduations, bought a black wig and some fake tattoos, and called myself a witch.  Another year, I slapped on a dress, fishnet tights, a Green Day shirt, black stripper boots, and temporary blue hair dye and dubbed myself a Punk Rock Princess (I guess technically a Pop Punk Rock Princess, since only eleven-year-olds consider Green Day to be pure punk, but whatever).

Last year I was in New York City for Halloween (see my header) and didn’t wear a costume (though I should have). Unfortunately, I won’t be in NYC for Halloween, but I will be at a friend’s party that weekend to celebrate.  Naturally, a dilemma – what to wear?

I mulled it over tonight – ideally, the costume would allow me to grab something from my closet. I don’t want to buy a costume, and I absolutely refuse to be Slutty (insert occupation here).  After watching three episodes of Mad Men tonight, the answer was obvious.

BETTY DRAPER.

I know, I’m like four years behind on this show and this costume would have been more in vogue in 2008, but I DON’T EVEN CARE BECAUSE IT IS NOW MY COSTUME AND I DO NOT CONFORM TO SOCIETY’S EXPECTATIONS.  Or something. Whatever. I briefly considered dressing as Joan, but let’s be honest here – I do not want to stuff pillows in my dress for the boobage.  My frame matches Betty’s more.  I have a party dress that has never been worn that looks sixties-ish, and while I do not have the blonde hair anymore (sniff sniff), it will be fun to be blonde again for the night (do not worry, I will be wearing a wig).

I’m really fascinated by Betty’s character (I just started Season 4 so no spoilers, please).  Like, she’s a horrible person.  I’ve considered bringing a baby doll with me as part of my costume, so I could tell it to go watch TV or go upstairs or to stop talking.  But even though she’s a terrible person, she’s endlessly watchable, and I think January Jones completely sells the character (and she’s ridiculously pretty, by the way.  If it were 2009, I would have already gone to my stylist and changed my hair color back to blonde).

This will be our little secret.  But my friends don’t read my blog anyway, so I felt like I could share it with you guys, and it would still be a surprise to everyone else.

Oh crap, I have to go to sleep.

To the People Searching “Are Jenny and Roger Still Together?”

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According to WordPress, some people are finding my blog by searching for “Are Jenny and Roger still together?”  When I read this, my first question, naturally, was, “Who the fuck are Jenny and Roger?”

Then I googled it and found out that they are some idiots from Jersey Shore.

OH HELL NO.

I’m way too tired to get started on my Jersey Shore rant, so I will sum it up in a couple of sentences – as an Italian (as in, “a genuine Italian citizen who was actually born in Italy, has Italian-speaking relatives, and multiple cousins named Antonio,” not “my great-great-great-grandmother was a quarter Italian”), I generally do not get offended by portrayals of my culture in the media, say, The Sopranos or The Godfather.

But holy shit, I am embarrassed that anyone on the Jersey Shore cast even attempts to associate themselves with my culture. NO. GET THE FUCK OUT.

So for anyone wondering if Jenny and Roger are still together, I don’t give a fuck, and neither should you.  And watch better television.  Seriously.  Anything is preferable to Jersey Shore. You could be watching the Kardashians, which personally makes my brain bleed, but compared to Jersey Shore, it’s Nova.

Are the VMAs Must-See TV?

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Spoiler alert – no.

Once upon a time, during a blissful era when Jersey Shore did not exist, the VMAs used to be required viewing.  If you didn’t watch the VMAs, you were bound to miss a pop culture watercooler moment.  In 2002, when I was watching my then-celebrity crush Jimmy Fallon host (he was so pretty), Guns N’ Roses reunited on-stage for what turned out to be a very lackluster performance.  But still.  It was Guns N’ Roses (well, Axl, anyway).  In 2003, Madonna kissed Britney and Christina.  I was in shock.  ”Their careers are over,” I muttered. (I was an innocent nineteen. I didn’t know any better.)

As MTV’s focus on actual music has lessened, the quality of their music awards shows has diminished.  It seems as if the shows are scheduled by rote and no effort is made to distinguish the show from the previous year’s rendition.  I guess I watched some of last year’s awards, but I couldn’t tell you what happened or who even hosted.  Last night’s show didn’t even have a host.

After settling on my couch resignedly, I turned to MTV.  Lady Gaga opened the ceremony.  Excuse me, Jo Calderone:

I have to hand it to Lady Gaga – she consistently goes for weird.  This appearance was some sort of performance art piece in which Gaga, guised as “Jo,” launched into this monologue about how weird his ex-lover Lady Gaga is.   I got such bad second-hand embarrassment watching this, because I kept thinking, “JESUS CHRIST, YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF.” Yet I had to give her credit for being ballsy and so committed.  The “WTF” faces from the celebrities in the audience were more entertaining than the monologue. Britney had an expression on her face that had been reserved for her own disastrous VMAs performance in 2007.

The actual performance of “You and I” was really good (no matter what your feelings on Gaga are, you can’t deny that she is incredibly talented), and Brian May just popped out of nowhere to play a solo.  I just realized that a good majority of the VMA’s intended audience probably doesn’t know who Brian May is.  This is very depressing.

Overall, I’m still undecided if the performance art piece was brilliant or horrific.  I think it’s a dilemma Lady Gaga fans consistently find themselves in.

There were some halfhearted attempts at entertainment before the awards for “Best Rock Video.” I think MTV defines “rock” very loosely, considering the nominees in this category.  The nominees were:

Foo Fighters (why else do you think I was watching this trainwreck?)
Cage the Elephant (I love them)
Black Keys
Foster the People (I really like Foster the People, but they’re not rock)
Mumford and Sons.  OH DEAR GOD. 

Can I please rant about Mumford and Sons for a moment? I find that people’s love of Mumford and Sons borders on cultish.  I hear people gushing over them like they are the saviors of music, that they are incredible, and that they “set the stage on fire” when they perform.

To which I say – huh?!

I’m sorry, guys. I tried. I listened to a couple of songs and I could not get past just how much they sucked. Yeah, I said it.   All this hype is much ado about nothing.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy slower music – I really do.  But their music is just monotonous and soporific.  I can appreciate the musicianship of the instrument playing, but that’s about it.  The rest of their stuff does nothing me for, especially the song-writing.  Here’s the opening line from “The Cave.”

It’s empty in the valley of your heart

I mean, come on.  How the fuck am I supposed to take that seriously? And MTV considers this ROCK?! Shitty indie folk pop? Yes.  Rock and roll? Hell to the no.

Luckily, the Foos won and Dave made a speech about how there’s still rock and roll out there if you know where to look.  TELL ME WHERE TO LOOK, DAVE.  I can’t rely on MTV to show me, that’s for sure.  And I know you Foo Fighter haters will think, “How are these ‘Learn to Fly’ guys rock and roll, Jenny?” I used to think the same thing, y’all, until I went to one of their live shows. Trust me, they’re legit.

After that, I tried to watch but the show was just so bad that I switched stations.  I’m disappointed that the VMAs weren’t how they used to be.  But maybe that’s part of being an adult – things will never be as good as your childhood memory.  And maybe I’m sounding like every other generation, but pop music just isn’t as good as it used to be.  Take what I said with a grain of salt, because I know that I feel this way only because of nostalgia.  However, there has to be a ring of truth to it – pop music from when I was a kid may have been corny at times, but Autotune wasn’t prevalent.  I’d take corny and sincere over Autotune any day.

That being said, I’ll probably attempt to watch the VMAs again next year. Old habits die hard.

Why Season 4 of True Blood is Better Than Season 3

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I’ve been streaming episodes off the internet watching Season 4 of True Blood pretty consistently, and I have to say, I’m really enjoying this season.  I think it’s a lot better than Season 3, for several reasons.  The pacing of the storyline is a lot slower and less frenetic, the stories are more engaging, and the cinematography has been really beautiful, particularly in scenes where…

I’m just kidding, this is why I love Season 4:

I mean, I meant what I said before – I do think the storylines are much more compelling this season, but let’s be honest.  If Alexander Skarsgard didn’t have the spotlight this season , there would be a 83% chance that I would not be as interested.  And thanks to his amnesia, Eric is all sensitive this season and thus EVEN HOTTER.  (Usually I hate amnesia storylines, but I’m giving this one a pass).

True Blood Season 4 Premiere Recap

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Note – this entry is NOT SPOILER FREE, SO OMG STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

Okay.

I have to admit, I wasn’t even aware that True Blood was premiering until a week ago.  I have lost a lot of the excitement I used to have for this show; I didn’t even order HBO this year (mainly because Time Warner is sucking all my money from me…I really need to stop this).  ANYWAY.  Season 3 was pretty disappointing.  I had defended it for awhile, and then when the Season 4 premiere started with flashbacks from last season, I remember how much I hated basically all the storylines.  Tara and Franklin – dumb.  Sam and his brother – dumb.  Arlene and her pregnancy – dumb.  Alcide – super hot, but dumb.  Russell – slightly entertaining, but dumb.  Sookie’s fairy powers – dumb. Jason and Crystal – dumb.  The only memorable thing from last season is the Massive Attack song they used in the episode where Bill eats the poor stripper.

But I have to say, this episode was pretty decent.  I usually dislike when shows have to default to desperate narrative decoys, like going forward in time, but I think after last season, this show needed something that desperate to propel the narrative.  I’m unsure about it will play out the whole season, but I liked that Sookie’s fairy land actually ended up being a trap (though the effects were soooo laughable – seriously, HBO, you need to fire the special effects staff).  The show focused on Sookie for nearly the first 25 minutes.  I hadn’t seen the show move that slowly since Season 1, but it was a welcome change from the fast-paced Season 3.  I like where the characters are at a year later, and I am really happy that Tara seems to be happy and is not so fucking annoying for once.

But I have one complaint.

NOT ENOUGH ERIC.

I think my crush on him has waned slightly, but I’m sure it will come back if he were in more than two scenes.

X-Files

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I have started watching X-Files.  I was a kid when the show was popular and only watched a couple of episodes back then.  I am on the first season, and it’s pretty good.

I’m not gonna lie, my main motivation for watching the show is this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, he’s like, 50 now, and apparently he plays himself on Californication but I don’t care.  He’s still hot.

Am I Living It Right?

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Lately I’ve been watching a lot of Being Erica on Hulu.  I had started watching it last year, but then I got into Dexter and forgot about it.  I remembered it recently and began rewatching. It is a cute Canadian show about a woman whose therapist sends her back into her past so she can change all her biggest regrets.  It’s actually pretty good.  Yeah, you have to suspend your belief at some parts – mainly because the show insists on making the lead actress play a 15-year-old version of herself at times when she is clearly in her 30s, and only briefly touches on the consequences of changing a major event in the past…the butterfly effect is not explored in depth. (Also, one of the episodes, set in 1995, had the characters talking about seeing a Chumbawumba concert and used “Tubthumping” as background music, which was totally an ANACHRONISM because that song wasn’t released until 1997, when I was in eighth grade. I KNOW MY 90′s ONE HIT WONDERS.)

The main lesson of the show is while Erica is able to change some elements of her past, everything happens for a reason, and she is unable to change her biggest regrets (i.e. her brother’s death).  Or, despite her best efforts to change the past (like not getting her sister back together with her deadbeat boyfriend), she finds in the future that her sister is still together with the boyfriend.  She learns that she is not the only one who controls the events around her and thus cannot be responsible for changing them.

I’ve been thinking about that and wondering what I would do if I had that magical opportunity of going back and redoing my biggest regrets.  Sure, I have some regrets. I might do some things differently (like not go to grad school), or go back and undo the hurt I caused some people at various times in my life.  But really, would I change anything?  I don’t believe in fate, that our lives were predetermined before we were born. But I believe that everything happens for a reason.  If I had gone to a different school, if I had gone into a different major, I would have a different life and different friends now. I don’t think I like the idea of that.  And as painful as some events in my life were, they taught me valuable lessons and made me a stronger person.  I don’t think I would go back and change any of that.

I have a penchant for living in the past, but now I’m thinking about my future…am I living the life I should be leading?  I am happier now than I was even two years ago.  But it’s undeniable that I still need to mature in a lot of ways.  Will I get there soon?

All these questions.  I doubt an episode of “Being Jenny” would make for compelling television.

Fall TV

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I usually do not watch the new crop of shows premiering on TV.  Every time I try to get into a new show, it gets canceled. I prefer to wait a bit and let it establish itself before watching.  I did watch an episode of Mike and Molly yesterday.  It was not bad. It has potential, I suppose.  I got excited when I saw Melissa McCarthy onscreen because I remember her from Gilmore Girls.  And it has the feel of an old-school sitcom – you know, the “filmed in front of a live studio audience” sort that I like.  But they need to stop doing the “LOL FAT JOKE” every three minutes.  That is my biggest criticism.  Why can’t they just focus on two characters who happen to be overweight and reference it every once in awhile instead of all these repetitive, juvenile fat jokes?

Speaking of new television shows, My Generation got abysmal ratings and reviews.  So it’s looking like my debut as a “background actor may not even happen.” COME ON SHOW, LAST UNTIL THE FOURTH EPISODE.  ALL I WANT IS TO SEE MY PINKIE FINGER ON TV, DAMN IT.

The best part about fall TV?  All the scary shows and movies to prep for Halloween!