Tag Archives: happiness

A Road Map of Musical Memories

Posted on by
2

Do you ever think about the first time you heard a song?  What you were doing or feeling?  When I listen to music, I really enjoy the memories that a song evokes.   I can remember where I was the first time I heard it, or the first time it really registered emotionally; I can remember when it was playing during an argument, at a party as I was talking to a cute guy, a car accident, or when I was put on hold.

While stuck in traffic this morning, I entertained myself by thinking of songs that I can remember hearing for the first time, and what feelings those songs evoked then and now.

For instance – when I first heard Band of Horses’ “Laredo,” it was on a sunny, fall day. I had recently met someone, and just as the song came on the radio, our mutual friend sent me a text with some proof that this guy liked me.  I remember feeling so happy and full of hope as I listened to that song; that entire fall, hearing that song resurrected those same hopeful feelings I’d experienced during my first listen.  When I heard the song again after things between us soured, I couldn’t believe that I had once thought the song was happy – it seemed so wistful and melancholy.

Here are a handful of distinct memories that I associate with songs from my childhood; I’ll stick with songs that were actually released during my lifetime.

1.  Billy Ocean, “Caribbean Queen”

Don’t ask me why or how I remember this, but the first time I can remember hearing this song is as a toddler, rocking out in my crib (or playpen.  My memory is too vague to discern which).  I couldn’t have been more than two or three, but I remember wriggling to the music as I gripped the rails.  Like a chubby little toddler dancing, this song evokes silliness and fun when I hear it now.

2.  Johnny Hates Jazz, “Shattered Dreams”

My memories of the 80s get more vague as I get older.  But I still remember the first time I heard this song – I was probably three or four, and we were walking in a mall at night.  I remember passing by some freaky headless mannequins; when I hear this song now, I don’t feel the creepiness I did as toddler, but it’s definitely a moody song I save for a cloudy day.

3.  Wilson Phillips, “Hold On”

Summer of 1990 – this song came on the radio as we were driving back from Florida. My parents had given me the option of attending my kindergarten graduation or going to Disney World – guess what a five-year-old is going to pick? Even now, hearing this song makes me think of a comfortable sunny day – that no matter what is going on in your life, you can be happy as long as you have your family and some sunshine.

4.  The Moody Blues, “Your Wildest Dreams”

Early 1994 – My dad spent his evenings back then going to college.  We were driving to the library so he could work on a team project.  I had a bag filled with my favorite American Girl novels and fruit snacks to keep me entertained.  My dad had just received The Best of the Moody Blues albums in the mail from one of those CD clubs he belonged to, so he popped it in the CD player.  Life was about to change for us – Dad had just found out that he was going to be stationed in Texas.  Hearing that song now still reminds me of that exciting time when we moved from Virginia, when you are filled with hope at the unknown places your life is about to take you.

5.  Counting Crows, “Mr. Jones”

Summer 1994 – we had just moved to Texas, and were staying with relatives temporarily.  Everything about this state was so new and exciting, and this song was the soundtrack to our adventures.  Fourteen years later, I moved to that very city that had briefly been my home during those first weeks in Texas.  This song kept on popping up on the radio after my move, and every time it filled me with mixed emotions – I wanted so badly to make this city my own, to feel alive, to feel the sense of adventure that this song had evoked as a child, but I felt so lost and alone.  It took a couple of years, but I am finally at the place I so longed to be.

First World Problems

Posted on by
2

It’s very easy to get absorbed into your life and your “problems.” I’m human, so I am guilty of this.  However, I try very hard to be grateful every single day (not just during Thanksgiving), because I realize that I’m lucky in so many ways.  So many of our problems are “first world problems” – “problems” that only we fortunate people encounter.  Since we generally don’t have to worry about things like shelter, water, and food, we find other things to bitch about.

Last week, while out in the field, a coworker and I stumbled upon a transient camp.  There was a dog collar, tattered books, a mattress, remains of a tent.  A shard of a sign asking for money or food.  Blankets, a shirt, a warped bowling ball, playing cards.  A chair standing erect, creepily, as if its owner was going to return any second.

What hit me the hardest was stumbling upon a blank book.  My coworker and I, curious, opened it.  The first page was full of song lyrics with corresponding guitar chords; someone had been writing music.  The lyrics, “I’ve got a fucking plan” leapt at me.

That happened a week ago and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.  I have known for years that there are many homeless people in this city.  Unlike other cities I have been to, there’s a substantial homeless population outside of the downtown region.  Even in the suburban, “nicer” parts of town, you still see homeless people.  Seeing the camp really made me sad, though.  This is what they return to.  While we are warm, well-fed, with a roof over our heads, people are out in the cold, living with the elements, trying the best they can.

I ask you to think about this during this week – we have to deal with the hassle of traveling, difficult family members, and the stress of preparing a huge meal to the satisfaction of all those in attendance.  These things can be annoying – yes.  But if you find yourself getting stressed about any of these things, just be grateful that you have family and friends who love you, and that you can actually complain about having too much food on Thanksgiving.  Having too much to eat? Definitely a first world problem.

I know that I usually steer clear of these self-righteous, corny posts, but I am absolutely sincere in everything I am writing.

I will close this post with a little levity.  Yesterday, I was stuck in traffic.  It sucked.  (I told you that I am human and get whiny about my stupid problems just like anyone else).  It took an hour to get from the city limits sign to downtown (which is only a ten or fifteen mile stretch).  I was very close to pulling a Michael Douglas and abandoning my car in the middle of traffic.

I had a Ryan Adams CD playing, and right during my absolute favorite song on that album (“Touch Feel and Lose”), the song started skipping.  My brain, already stressed out from the traffic, wailed, “WHYYYY UNIVERSE? WHY? THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG, DAMN IT.”

Then I started laughing and thought, “This would be a perfect addition to the ‘First World Problems’ meme.”  (If y’all haven’t read the First World Problems meme, it is hilarious).  When I got home, that’s exactly what I did.